My Son

The phrase;  “A day that will live in infamy”, spoken by President Roosevelt about the day Japan attacked America, has been running through my mind.  I wondered why Holy Spirit would use these words to describe what happened yesterday.  But, before I explain, let me bring you up to speed about the day.

It began much as it usually does with time in the Word.  I also use a couple of devotional books that follow the days and I pray.  Yesterday, I was lead to take communion for “my cluster”.  The cluster revelation was given to Mary Bostrom a few years ago and has been such a blessing, it is a wonderful way to pray for those whom God has assigned to me in prayer.  I daresay, without that foundation I would have been “ship-wrecked or capsized”.

My husband left for work and I began to tear apart the spare bedroom closet.  I literally dragged out everything on the floor and all of my summer clothes.  So, scattered about the house were clothes, 18 gallon tubs of fabric, my sewing machines…well you get the idea, it was a mess.  Then the phone rang and an emotional earthquake shook my world.

To preface this, let me say that other than an attack on your husband, nothing can rock your world like the adversary, satan, striking your children.  The attack that came against my son was designed to destroy.  But I serve a risen Savior who is alive in my world today.  I walk with Him and talk with Him.  He is real.  And if I start wandering, He is faithful to bring me back on point.  Thank God!

The phone rang, it was my son’s mother-in-law’s telling me of her concern.  A note was found that sounded like a suicide note and there were some pictures found on Facebook.  They thought I should know.  I hung up the phone and said, “Lord, what should I do?”  I called my sister, whom I know personally intercedes for me.  “Pray dear, this is what has happened.”, I explained.  “And, please call the others.”  I texted friends to pray.

A long time ago Kenneth E. Hagin taught that you can be settled in your spirit while your soul is in turmoil.  It is not unlike the sea when a storm on the surface is whipping up giant waves but at the depth of the sea there is perfect calm.  That is how I felt from the moment I heard of the note and pictures.  I was thinking about how strange this was.  I can see clearly now, that if I had stayed in the spirit, stayed on the Word instead of letting my emotions run, I would have walked through this storm in peace.

As a result of the storms of life, and what I have learned of God through His Word and my personal experience with Him, I have determined that I am not going to allow any test I go through to capsize me; I will learn from it and grow stronger in the Lord.

What the enemy of our soul means for evil, God will turn for our good if only we will turn to Him and stay our hearts upon Him. Even so, He is faithful when we are faithless.  Praise Him!

People were praying.  As the word of what had happened came to God’s people, they prayed and God’s Spirit, His angels, began to work to cause the will of God to be done.

By the time the storm abated, many lessons were learned.  God showed Himself strong in my behalf and in behalf of my son and his family.  I have God’s word, as recorded in Isaiah 49:24-25, that He would “contend with him that contends with me and save my children.”  He has promised that he would complete His Word and keep His Word.  He is faithful.

Lives were touched, lessons were learned.

My son, his brother and their Dad all spoke the same thing to me at different times:  “This is blown way out of proportion.”, they all said the same, exact words.  In the end, it was seen to be the case.

Many years ago when God and the enemy were contending for my soul, I read books, I searched for help in many places, I was such a mess.  I was looking everywhere for help, though I did not know that is what I was doing.  The problem was that I was looking for help in all the wrong places.  In the fulness of time, God’s time for me, I found Him finding me, I found Him running after me, waiting for me to see that He was there all the time, ready to help, to set me free.  Oh, glorious day when my Savior I did see!

One of the lessons I learned during my running years was that all of the angst that is in you needs to be gotten out of you.  Some people dump it on others with angry words.  Some people use substances that numb them for a time.  Some people turn into food junkies to salve their wounded souls.  All of this and more is looking for help and fulfillment in the wrong places. It is only found in God’s way of living and being right and that is through His Son, Jesus the Messiah.

Having said that, one tactic that I found to be very successful during that period of time was to write down everything bothering me on a piece of paper, every thought, every feeling…the good, the bad and the ugly…and then burn the paper.  I recall writing a letter to someone I was angry with.  It was nasty, I have no doubt that if anyone read it they would have carted me off to the state hospital.  When I finished, I forgave the person and burned the paper.  My spirit was free.

I learned the valuable lesson that forgiveness is first of a legal transaction between you and God and secondly, I believe it is something that you walk out until the enemy of your soul gets the point that you refuse to receive or hold unforgiveness, then that attack will end.  I believe that it was Einstein who likened unforgiveness to drinking poison and hoping the other person gets sick.

My son was going through a dark night of the soul, and part of that process was a so-called, “suicide note”.  It was the equivalent of my paper burning lesson.  He had no intent that anyone should read that paper, he put it in the trash.  He was working through the attack of the enemy against him in the only way he knew how.  My son has issues, I do not deny it, but we all have issues.  Some of us bigger issues than others, but none of us walk through life without being attacked by the adversary.

I went through what I did to learn that there is no help in anyone but God. Those of us who are reborn have had to learn this lesson.  Our flesh is strong and wants to rule, the world leads in a way that opposes the Kingdom of God and the “accuser of the brethren” lies, steals, murders and destroys.  The only source of life is God.  It takes some of us longer than others of us to figure that out.

God was in control throughout the whole time, some four plus hours.  When they went into warfare, my siblings all received the same confirmation.  We stood as one against the enemy who was trying to destroy a beloved family member.  As the hours unfolded yesterday, confirmation after confirmation came that God was at work and the outcome would be a “turning point” in the life of my son and his family.  God is faithful this I know.

What will the new thing that God has done in the lives of my son and his family look like?  I don’t know, but my biological, extended and  spiritual family are all in agreement that the enemy cannot have our children or our spouses or anything that is ours.  We have been bought with the precious blood of Jesus, the sacrifice Lamb of God,  We have been given liberty and freedom, and we have been given many great and precious promises in the written word of God so that we can escape the world’s domination.  We just have to take them.

The enemy uses violence, we must be violent to take what Jesus died for us to have, because the enemy is a thief.  It is payback time.  It is written in Exodus 22:7 “When a thief is found out he must repay double.”  It is time for captives to be released, for children to come back to the Father’s house.  Whatever you have faith for, not what you wish for, not what you hope for, but what you have faith for will be given to you.  It is God’s Word.

Isaiah 59: 18-20 (NKJV)   “According to their deeds, accordingly He will repay, fury to His adversaries, recompense to His enemies; the coastlands He will fully repay.  So shall they fear the name of the Lord from the west, and His glory from the rising of the sun; when the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.”

Yesterday is a day written down in the books of Heaven, truly a day to be remembered, a day when my son learned that he is loved and cared for, a day that changed lives, a day that will live in infamy!

To those of you who stood with our family through this attack…thank you!  Only eternity will tell your reward.  May the Lord bless you!

Jesus loves you and so do I,

Joy

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