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Rejection and Insecurity

Every person is born with a longing to belong.  Every person has an innate desire to share his time, his thoughts with someone.  Every person, every human being, every one has a need to be accepted and loved.  At some time in every life, a person will be rejected, will feel rejected, not accepted, not loved.  What does this lead to?  What happens within a person then?  That’s what I want to look at today.

Dr. James Dobson, the former head of Focus on the Family, worked at a hospital early in his career. The hospital’s director called a meeting one morning.  The room was full of women as Dr. Dobson walked in and took the end seat in the front row.  In the back of the room was a table with coffee and refreshments.  The women were all seated.

The director walked in and greeted everyone.  She laid out the format for the meeting, She said that they would have coffee first and then proceed.  Everyone was invited to go to the tables in the back of the room.  No one moved.  Dr. Dobson then said, “Thank you, I believe I will.”, and he stood up. Instantly every woman in the room stood up.  He shared this story to show how rejection, intimidation and inferiority hinders, women especially, from doing what they desire to do.

On a personal level, women seem to me to have a greater need to share their lives with others than men do.  When I counsel young women, I tell them to be sure that they have a few “girlfriends” to do things with.  I have several friends, but I have a few close friends that I pray with, have a meal with, go to a meeting with or just spend time with.  My need to share who I am and hear who they are is very great.  Though I am married, my husband does not meet that need for me as he does not have a need to share like I do.

I received a call yesterday from a young woman whom I mentored for three years.  I had to stop mentoring her because she came to depend upon me and not upon God.  It had been a long time since I had spoken with her personally.  I had heard from others that she had grown in her faith, but that she was still dealing with some major issues.

Her situation is a classic rejection scenario.  When she was 18 months old her dad sent her outside to play, locked the door and would not let her in all day.  The impact of that day affected her whole life.  She was diagnosed as being bi-polar, having the intellect of a young child, even though I found her to be very quick to understand and remember the things I taught her.  Unfortunately, she did not always do what she knew she should do.

When she was six years of age her mother and dad divorced.  She and her brother were raised by her mother.

Her mother had a “boyfriend”, who sexually molested her, and subsequently she was raped several times by an extended family member as well.  Not unusual for this scenario, she has had a problem with lust her whole life.  Soul ties are formed and unless broken, they continue to dominate the soul.

She has had numerous “boyfriends” and one husband, whom she divorced because he did not meet her “needs”.  She claims to be a Christian, to believe in God, having received Jesus as her personal savior.  But, she has great struggles with her sexuality.

God loves her even though she can’t get a handle on His love or how His love is that which finally fills the love, acceptance box in her soul.  It is only the love of God that sets the soul free at last from the rejection we all receive by living in this fallen world.

Now, let’s talk about self-worth.

Many years ago, I was on a prayer journey in Europe.  Several of us went into the red light district in Holland.  It was appalling to the senses.  There was a house that was built similarly to a ship, that is to say that the front of the house was like the prow of a ship.  It was all windows and two-story.

The top room of the house was bathed in blue light.  In that room there was one of the most beautiful blonde woman I have ever seen.  She was scantily clad, posing for those on the street to see.  The lower room was bathed in red light and in that room was a beautiful brunette woman.  These two women were the advertisement for the brothel.

How could someone who was so beautiful in form and face do what these women did?  Couldn’t they have done something without demeaning who they were, who God created them to be?  What was the answer?

Many years ago a reporter was interviewing a Miss America candidate.  In the interview she complained about having fat on her stomach, to which the reporter wrote, “It was unbelievable that this beautiful girl, who looked perfect, did not see herself as she was.”

Anorexia and bulimia are called diseases.  I recently listened to Karen Carpenter sing a beautiful Christmas song.  She was a victim of Anorexia.  What a shame and what a loss to the world to have that beautiful voice silenced.

Alcoholism, something I am intimately acquainted with, is another area that many are calling a disease.  My dad began using when he was a teen-ager.  The result of a lifetime of use caused him to lose his home, his wife, his children and ultimately his life.  Unfortunately, this so-called disease, passes down the generations and there are other family members who are bound by it.

Will any of these keep you out of Heaven?  No!  The way to Heaven is through faith in Jesus.  Are Alcoholism, anorexia, bulimia, prostitution, sexual immorality very real?  Yes! In my opinion they are all the result of rejection, only symptoms of a need to fill the hole in the soul.  Self-medication…so that they can “feel” accepted.

Do these things satisfy the very real need that people have?  No!  They are temporary fixes at best.  At the worst, they take your earthly life and unless you have been born-again by the Spirit of God, they will condemn you to eternity without God, life, love and light; for eternity the enemy will torment you because you chose your sin and not God.

If you have a problem with any of the things I have highlighted today please know that the issue is rejection.  You can be set you free.  The answer is found in receiving Jesus as your Savior and your Lord.

“He (God) chose us to be his very own, joining us to himself even before he laid the foundation of the universe!  Because of his great love he ordained us, (marked us with His love) so that we would be seen as holy in his eyes with an unstained innocence.  For it was always in his perfect plan to adopt us as his delightful children through our union with Jesus, the Anointed One, so that his tremendous love that cascades over us would glorify his grace —for the same love he has for his Beloved One, Jesus, he has for us.  And this unfolding plan brings him great pleasure!”  Ephesians 1:4-6 The Passion Translation

“According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:  Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”                          Ephesians 1: 4-7 The King James Version

It was this passage that set me free from rejection.  I felt like I didn’t belong to anyone.  I felt like an orphan.  Rejection consumes your mind, your will and your emotions.  It binds you like a straight jacket and colors your whole world.

It is amazing how the world opens up when your realize that God knew you before he even created the world.  How God sees you and me is so different from how we see ourselves or how others see us.  Love glasses, love lenses change everything.

Yesterday a group of friends celebrated Christmas with a friend of ours who is slowly inching toward eternity.  Her heart is failing, but her spirit is strong.  We began to sing a Christmas song and I realized that it may be the last time we have this time with her.  It hit my emotions, my soul.  I know where she is going and I have peace that she is being prepared to meet Jesus, but the thought of this one that I have shared a portion of my life with, not being here, saddened me.  I love her.

Love overcomes when we yield to it.  The God kind of love is without condition.  He loves because He is love.  He once told me that He loved the alcoholic lying in the street covered in his own vomit as much as He loved the most righteous man in the land.  I cannot comprehend that kind of love, I can only accept it and I do.

Everyone has issues that they deal with constantly.  We live in a fallen world, there is no perfect man on this planet.  But, there is a perfect man in Heaven, Jesus is there.  He prays for us constantly, because He understands what it is like to live here.  I have loved ones there and I believe that they also bring requests to Father for those of us that are here.  They are waiting with joy for us to come home.

I know that this has been long friend, but I felt strongly to address this today.  I pray that you have been touched in some way to draw near to God through Jesus.  If you have met Him, you know how much you are loved.  If you have not met Him yet…consider it.  Oh, how He loves you and me.

Affectionately,                                                                                                                                          Joy

 

 

 

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LIfe

This morning I am thinking of Mary. She has been on the hearts of so many people, due to the fact that she almost died. (January 17, 2017) Miraculously she was given the gift of life.

Today Mary goes home from the hospital.  This is how her friend put it on Caring Bridge:

“Mary will be restored to her home (and her children) tomorrow. Yes, HOME!!  We can all share in her joy.  Praise God!!! After her return home (and I am sure countless hugs and kisses) she will be visited by Home Health Care to determine need for level of care. Please continue to pray for Mary’s healing, their family, and God’s blessing on this next big step in Mary’s healing.”

I think so often people get confused about miracles and healing. What Mary experienced at the hospital when she could breathe without the help of a breathing tube was a miracle.  (see previous posts)

The doctors thought she would more than likely die.  The breath in her lungs was instant, the moment the tube came out she could breathe on her own, and she began to recover. That miracle was the beginning of Mary’s healing.

Her lungs began to immediately respond and get better and better. The healing process is still going on, which is why prayer for complete healing is necessary.  Mary has had several treatments of chemotherapy and will continue to do so.  Our continued prayer stand is that Mary be completely delivered from cancer, that “she will not die but live and declare the works of the Lord.” Psalm 118:17

How often do we pray and ask but do not believe we receive.  In the gospel of Mark Jesus said, “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever you desire when you pray, believe that you receive them and you shall have them.”   Mark 11:24 KJV  To see we must believe and receive.

Faith is the necessary ingredient for miracles and healing.  It is not hoping or wishing that the thing you desire is yours because you want it to be.  It is not mental assent to what the Bible says is true, or even that Jesus died for you to have it.

Faith is knowing that healing is part of the new covenant in Jesus blood, that God wants you whole body, soul and spirit; you believe and receive it.

There are times when you must stand in faith to recover. There are times when healing does not manifest right away, then you must know that you have been heard and God will do everything He can do.  Sometimes timing is an issue.

God gave each of us a will.  We can choose.  When a person has been battling against sickness or disease and they are tired and don’t want to fight anymore, your will and prayers will not be imposed upon them. God will give them what they want, He will take them home to Heaven, if they are His children.

In our day in America, every source is embalmed with unbelief and doubt…except one…the Bible.   A person may be strong in the Lord in one area but weak in another because of doubt or unbelief. There is no perfect human being.

The Jewish people have a word that incorporates the wholeness that God wants His people to walk in, it is the word Shalom.  I heard someone say that it means, “nothing missing and nothing broken.”

How do we get to that place of wholeness?  Jesus is the answer.

The Bible says, “Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.” Matthew 18:5 KJV

Jesus taught that we are to be like little children. The hallmark of a child is trust. Implicit in childhood is total trust in their parent. They don’t question where their next meal is coming from, whether they will have clothes or shoes to wear or a place to sleep.  (Yes, I know that there are aberrations)

If a loving parent provides for the needs of his children, how much more will our loving Heavenly Father provide for our needs.  We are His family.

There are some things that come upon all mankind, like rain, natural things, earthly things, but there are some things that are only for family.

Jesus taught that God is Our Father in Heaven, that He loves His children and wants to see us succeed in every area of life.

He wants us to be whole, so much so that He sent The Word made flesh, Jesus, to live here on earth for approximately 30 years to identify with us and pay the price for sin that we could not, so that we could have access to our Father.

When Jesus finished His assignment, He declared: “I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”  John 17:4 KJV

We can trust our Father in Heaven. We can trust Jesus our advocate and His Spirit our helper, comforter, teacher and guide.

Each of us has been assigned a specific time to be here on planet earth.  For such a time as this we have come. God has a plan and a purpose for each of us.  It is for us to discover what that plan is.

It is written in Psalm 139:16 KJV “Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.”

Kat Kerr says that we were all little spirits with the Father and when the time came for us to come to earth, He knit our little spirit to that dot of flesh in our mother’s womb and we became a living soul. Your life began at conception.

Mary has been given a new lease on life, a new opportunity.  She has fought, her family has fought, extended family has fought, friends and God’s family have fought against the cancer that the enemy sent to kill her and steal her from her husband and children. He did not win!

In the court of Heaven God the righteous judge sat down on the bench.  The advocate for Mary (Jesus Christ the Righteous) presented His case, the enemy (formerly known as Lucifer) presented his case.

Jesus said, “I paid the price required for Mary to be healed. My blood was shed; I was whipped with a cat of nine tails, my blood flowed out on the ground, the bones in my back could be seen.  Only then did they stop. I did this out of love for Mary, to satisfy the demands of the law. I ask the court for acquittal.”

The enemy arose with great pomp to make his case against Mary.  He dragged up every little thing that she had done from the time she was able to make her own decisions.  It was not a pretty picture.

He said, “Your honor knows that I am nothing if not fair.  I have shown the court that Mary is deserving of death. I ask for conviction.”  He sat down, smugly sure that he had won.  He could not wait to get his hands on her. He had plans.

God stood up.  The enemy trembled, that was not a good sign.  He had seen Him do that before and it did not bode well for him.

Turning to Lucifer, the fallen one, He said, “I have heard you out.  You have accused Mary of heinous crimes.  You have belittled her, you have laid out before me a picture accusing her of things she has not even done.  Fair? no, never since your fall have you ever been fair.  There is no justice in you at all.”

Turning to Jesus He said, “I have heard the case that you have made for Mary.  You have done everything possible to secure her healing.  I have seen that Mary wants to be healed and I have heard the many prayers for her life.  Mary gave me her life when she was 12 years of age.  She is my child.  I have made my decision.”

The gavel went down.  “Decision made for the plaintiff.”  Case dismissed.

Jesus has never lost a case.

What about you friend?  If you stood in the courts of Heaven would there be enough evidence to convict you?

Today is the day of salvation.  Turn from sin and give your heart to Jesus, all of the old life will be washed away in Jesus blood, you will become a new man.  A new life will begin.  Ask Jesus to immerse you in the Holy Spirit and He will bring you power to live that new life.

God loves you, so do I.  Joy