Tag Archive | school

Worthiness and Rejection

Many a person never fulfills there calling in life because they feel unworthy. This feeling begins with rejection, and usually it is very early in life.

I recall a story that Dr. James Dobson told when he worked at a hospital as the resident psychologist. I will tell it as I remember it, if you know it give me grace if I get some of the details wrong.

One morning the head personnel director, a woman, called a meeting of the staff. Everyone showed up and began to take their seats. Dr. Dobson was seated in the front row on the far right.

In the back of the room was a table on which there were doughnuts, rolls and coffee, however, no one went to the table, enticing as it was.

The director walked up to the podium and greeted the group, by the way, Dr. Dobson related that he was the only male in the group, she directed that the meeting would begin after they had partaken of the coffee etc. She asked who would like to go first…no one moved.

Dr. Dobson related that he knew no one would be the first to move because every person has suffered some rejection at sometime in their life, so he boldly rose from his seat and said, “I will.” and according to him, all the women immediately rose and followed.

Rejection can be debilitating, Rejection can come upon a child in the womb, and inexplicably to him or her, that child deals with feelings of rejection his or her whole life unless the cause is found and dealt with.

Many times a baby is an inconvenience to a couple, I have counseled women whose mothers did not want them, who did everything they could to get rid of them short of abortion. They suffered with feelings of rejection no matter how assured they were that they were loved.

School brings peer pressure and if a child is somehow different than the other children they are picked on and/or ridiculed. This is the entry point for rejection with its feelings of not measuring up and feelings of unworthiness. Many a child has taken their own life or the lives of others for this very reason.

Within the last few days the well-known comedian Robin Williams took his own life. There are many articles, many stories surrounding the man and the incident. I doubt that anyone, short of the man himself, would be able to say what happened to him as a vulnerable child. Perhaps he was unusual, not the norm. I am no psychologist but I have read that many comedians use humor to gain the approval they could not get any other way. According to one article I read Williams mother gave him the approval he needed to go the direction he went. His life apart from the spotlight was not a happy one according to what I have read. He seemed to be seeking something but never found it.

May I suggest that the something seekers are looking for is not a thing but a person? His name in Hebrew was Jeshua, He was born to a Jewish girl named Miriam, His Father was God, Yahweh or Yehovah, this is what the Holy Bible teaches.

If you have been infected with rejection, it is nearly impossible to escape from it apart from the work of God’s Spirit. God’s love and acceptance are the key to freedom.

Some of us had parents or guardians that did not bring us up in the way that was best for us or in the manner that was needful for us to develop into whole, happy people. But, Thank God there is no scenario in which we may find ourselves that God cannot change. It is written in His Word: “Behold, I am Jehovah, the God of all flesh: Is there anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

How many people have siblings that seem to “outshine” them in so many, if not all areas? Brothers in the same family as different as night and day, all of them pursuing excellence, but in totally different ways and styles. One brother is educated with several degrees and has a high paying job, while another has only a high school degree and works in retail, another is a truck driver who cared less about education but loves being a truck driver. They don’t talk, they have nothing in common. How sad! Diversity is good, but not without unity.

Another situation may be one in which there are several sisters, to one sister it seems that she is the only one who does not have the gifts and talents that all the others do. She has struggled her whole adult life with this seeming lack on her part, trying to make sense of these feelings. She does not feel like she fits and on the one hand pushes against having to conform to their standard while on the other hand desiring their acceptance.

We all deal with rejection according to Dr. Dobson. You cannot live in this world and not experience it at some point. What is the answer?

Feelings of rejection can come because we are different than someone and that is pointed out to us, usually repeatedly, though not necessarily. In point of fact, each of us was created by God according to Psalm 139:13 “For You did form my inward parts; You did knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Each person is unique and special.

God’s feelings for us are spelled out in Zephaniah 3:17: “He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”

Isaiah 49:16 tells us that He loves us so much that, “I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.” This passage also says that a nursing mother may forget her baby, but He says He will never forget us. Jesus expressed it this way in Matthew 28:20 “Lo, I am with you always even to the end of the world.” Ephesians 1:6 tells us that we are accepted in the Beloved.” In Habakkuk 13:5 we are assured by God, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”

There are conditions however, in James 4:8 we read: “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”

Deliverance from rejection is available when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior; having repented of the sin of rebellion against God, we have taken a step that brought us out of the Kingdom of Darkness and into the Kingdom of Light, God’s Kingdom according to Colossians 1:13-14.

We have become a child of God by new birth, as John 3:3 tells us, it is at this point that we qualify for all that Jesus died for us to have, which includes deliverance from the affects that have come upon us from the adversary (the devil), the world and our own flesh. This is accomplished as we yield, surrender and submit our whole self: body, soul and spirit to God and allow Holy Spirit to work in us, bringing us to wholeness through what Jesus did at Calvary.

No amount of striving on our part can make us whole, make us well. Jesus did it all. We receive what Jesus did and rest in that finished work. It is Holy Spirit’s job to help us, Helper is one of His functions. He is also our teacher, our counselor, our comforter. We need Him in every one of those ways.

God’s written Word is His love letter to us to help us through the process. Relationship with Him through prayer, which is the conversation of the believing heart with God, is that “Drawing near” that James spoke of in his letter and out of the combination of The Holy Spirit, the written Word and Prayer we will grow up, come to maturity.

Our body is simply a container, an earth suit to live in while we are on this planet. The body is born to wear out and die, which is part of the curse that came upon man and earth when Adam transgressed God’s command not to eat of the Tree in the midst of the garden.

Our spirit and soul are another matter. God created mankind for fellowship with Himself. We make contact with Him through our Spirit and when we believe on and receive Jesus and are born-again, we begin the process of the conversion of our soul.

The soul is the seat of our mind, our will, our emotions, our feelings. We, our soul, may be a “mess” when we come into the Kingdom, we may have a lot to overcome, but the good news is that we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, and His Spirit, so we don’t have to go it alone. Praise God!

We become part of the Family of God when we are born of the Spirit of God. We can begin to have fellowship and walk in “The Way” with those we will be with for all eternity.

And now: “May the Lord bless you and keep you, May the Lord shine His face upon you and give you His peace”, in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! Amen!

Blessings,
Joy

Jonah’s Story

Jonah felt like he was out-of-place from the beginning of his memory, the black sheep of the family. He grew up in a family of three boys; he was in the middle.  As sometimes happens, his older brother was a diligent hard-working leader type and baby brother was a comedian who kept everyone entertained with his jokes and keen wit.  Jonah was just in the middle with no particular skills, wit or drive to make him a stand-out, he was just Jonah, or so he thought.

Life has a way of going on and on, even when you want to say, “Stop the world, I want to get off.”  Jonah often felt like that recently, in fact he used alcohol to get some relief from the sense of worthlessness that he felt, even if it was only temporary relief.

I have seen low self-esteem, pride and rebellion reflected in many lives.  This seems to be more often the case in men than in women, and usually is because a person feels that they don’t fit in, or they feel worthless, or they feel that they are different.  I believe, this is the case with Jonah.

From the first days of his life Jonah was sweet-tempered with an easy smile.  He loved hugs and gave them freely.   He loved to play outside with his older brother and the neighbor boys.

He found his world an interesting place as a little boy, a bug or some other thing would  fascinate him; he would run in the house to his mother and ask her to, “Come and see what I found.”

When Jonah was five years old he prayed with his mother, asking Jesus to come into his heart.  The next day he told her that Jesus said that he would be a pastor when he grew up.  He denied this in later years, even telling his mother it was her idea.

As he grew, his interest in the world around him, and especially other people, also grew.  At school he had a hard time focusing on doing school work because of this.  He often day-dreamed and did not respond to any correction the teachers tried.  He often asked his mother if they could pray for children in his class or their parents.  God would answer those prayers.

School work was easy for Jonah, but he was not interested in school, most of the time he would follow his flights of fancy, neglecting his homework.  He still got decent grades, without really trying, yet he had the ability to be a straight A student.

When he graduated from high school, his parents wanted him to go to college, but he did not want to, choosing instead to get a job.  This lasted for about a year and at that point he decided he wanted to have a profession, so he applied to a tech school to learn carpentry.

It was at the school that he met his future wife.  She was learning to be an ultra-sound technician.  Her background was dissimilar in many ways to his, but as often happens, “opposites attract”.  The relationship was rocky from the start, but they seemed to be drawn together and it was not long before they were “in love” and wanting to be married.  She became pregnant shortly after that decision.

Mary got her degree from the tech school, but with a wife and a child on the way, Jonah could not continue.  He had to find a job.

At that time, finding a job was a challenge for someone without a college degree, and the only thing available was manual labor.  Another challenge for Jonah was finding a job in the small town they lived in.

Up to this time, Jonah did not give God much thought, but when times get hard and your back is up against the wall, you have little else to turn to and alcohol was only a temporary fix.

Jonah prayed and God provided a job.

The baby was born in the heat of summer.  He was a beautiful boy, so sweet.  He looked a lot like his mother, but with his dad’s disposition.  they named him Jesse.

For a time all seemed to go well, but time marches on and stuff happens.  There were four more children born, a different house purchased to accommodate the growing family.  The company Jonah was working for went out of business and a new job was begun.

At this point in Jonah’s life, he was addicted to cigarettes and alcohol to an increasing degree.  His marriage was shaky and he began to have health problems.  Jonah believed the lie that he was somehow less-than and in his pride, he would not admit that he was wrong and that he had made some bad life choices.

Some people have to hit rock bottom before they realize that the life they have chosen has left them bankrupt and they have no one to blame but themselves.  The Lord God, designed us for a relationship with Himself,  and He said:  “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.”, yet we serve many gods, not the least of which is our own self.

I wish I could tell you the end of Jonah’s story, but the jury is out.  The day will come when Jonah must make a decision, we all get there.  Jonah is called by God to be an under-shepherd, a high and precious calling, one which many have answered and been blessed.  Jonah has run from the call as hard and fast as he could.  Sinning and loving the sin he is in.  Yet miserable in the middle of it all, because God never takes back the call.

People often think that they have time to choose to live for God, but sometimes time runs out before they can make that choice.  Others just don’t make a decision and no decision is a decision…it is, No!

Joshua told Israel as they were preparing to enter into the land that God had promised Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, “Choose this day whom you will serve, as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.”  It is a choice.

What about you friend, are you prepared to enter into eternity?  That is the promised land for every person who has chosen to receive Jesus as the promised Messiah, the lamb of God.  His blood, through His blood, is the only entrance into Heaven, and mental assent will not get you there…you must be born-again, born of the Spirit of God as Jesus said.

I write because I care, because I trust that someone needs to hear, to read, to see, and maybe that someone will turn around and leave their sinful life behind and run to the Lord, maybe that someone is you?

Prayerfully,

Joy